Four Oh!
Okay, I’ve been sitting on this a couple of weeks and intended to post it on Friday but, you know, when you get old you are more attentive to not wasting a single minute so - here goes!
Saturday, February 7, 2026, Hubs and I will celebrate the milestone of forty yeas of marriage.
I have to admit I was shocked to discover the 40th anniversary is represented by the ‘Ruby’. But it makes sense that a celebration pinned on four decades of marriage would be in the precious jewels category.
Thing is, I (we) have never paid much attention to the tradition of gifting for an anniversary, especially not based on a particular physical thing as determined by someone sometime ago.
Years ago I found an anniversary card that was so perfectly perfect for us, I signed it, had Hubs sign it, saved it and pulled it out every year on our special day. Since our day is one week before Valentines Day we kind of let it ride as our acknowledgement of that day too.
See, here’s the thing about us - we are both severely practical and therefore less beholden to the dictates of socially constructed traditions. Yes, we are odd balls, for sure, but we are, first and foremost, on the same page serious partners in this life journey. We see love as a verb not a noun. Love does not just says.
We are also problem solvers and have had a friendly competition for the last forty years to see who can come up with the bestest, fastest solution.
In 1986 making it to the forty year mark wasn’t on our to do list. Especially since we started a bit later than most, in our late thirties.
But that’s how practical odd balls navigate. One day, one week, one year, one solution at a time.
We did learn a few things along the way though.
We all come to the table with some kind of baggage - the older we are, the heavier the baggage. Personality type, quirks, tendencies, experiences, the good and bad, that gave us our basic shape and expectations.
The strength and longevity of the union depends on acknowledging that baggage exists and then both being willing to give and take in compromise when the baggage doesn’t match. Regardless, there must be a foundational baseline of honesty and agreement on certain acceptable standards.
Each one giving and taking as needed. Each holding up the heavy end when the other is struggling. Each respecting the individuality and sometimes peculiarities of the other even as both are determined to actually do for each other - not just say good sounding words.
This is marriage shored up by practical love, not idealistic, emotional love, though it’s never a cake walk regardless. If you make it to the ruby anniversary, it becomes an amazing scrapbook of memories.
Of course one key component, that keeps it going through thick and thin is - a good sense of humor.
Trust me on this.
A few years ago I wrote a song and put together a lame music comp with my ukulele. Then I made a video. This year I decided to let AI make the music with my lyrics. Way more listenable. Then I updated the video. [Had to get our first great grand in there.]
Happy Ruby Fortieth Ron Fields - definitely the best ... so far
Life in Lyrics - my lyrics made into music by SunoAI
Meemanator’s Youtube.
I guess I prefer oddballs.
Happy anniversary!
What a GREAT song, Meema! Seems like some big-name country singer would snatch it up in no time, if they knew it existed! / Congratulations on 40 years of figuring it out, working through it, holding each other up, and celebrating life together!